I am not sure that there are words that could possibly describe exactly how I feel about the transformation that occurred over the past nine weeks. On August 5th my little boy kissed me on the cheek, told me he loved me, turned around and gave me one more hug for good measure and asked that I not worry. Of course, that was not possible, not knowing what the next weeks would hold in store; wondering if he would be okay, if he would regret his decision, if he would miss home, if he would get hurt, if we would be okay without him....

Well all of these things were answered, unquestionably, at John's graduation ceremony on 17 October 2008. The little boy who left home nine short weeks before was not the man that marched into the auditorium that morning. He was not there when his unit commander stood before them and called them to attention. He was not there when the entire unit stood and recited the soldiers creed in unison. That little boy was no more--instead we were greeted by a true American Soldier. This was a young man full of pride for his country, full of conviction to serve his country well, and part of a brotherhood that few outside of this Army would understand unless they have been there to experience it first hand.

The tears I cried that morning were mostly pride, at the man he had become. Proud of the courage he showed in his choice to do what he felt in his heart to be right. And proud of the independence that he has gained during this transition. Admittedly, some of those tears were selfish because I know how much we will miss him. The analogy that kept running through my head each of the days that we spent with him and all of the days since, is that this process of letting go is like a train moving full speed ahead. We cannot control it or stop it. If I tried to jump in front of it, it would only hurt everyone--so I decided I would just jump on board and enjoy the ride.

John and I had many nice discussions about his future plans and what he might face in the upcoming months and years. We talked about the importance of his training as what he learns today could save his life one day. We also talked about destiny and how it was very evident that becoming a soldier was truly a calling for John. There is not a single doubt in my mind that this is where John was meant to be. The world is a safer place with young men like him standing up and defending all of us, by their own free will and drive to do so.

Each young soldier that I had an opportunity to meet strengthened these beliefs. There were men from every state in the union, every nationality and every educational background. We had the opportunity to meet many of them and talk to their families. They were all just like my own son, nice, articulate young men, looking to make the world a better place. For each of the graduating soldiers there were at least two to three family members there to take part in this celebration. They too, were just like you and I. Parents watching their kids grow up and find their way, full of pride and supporting them every step of the way. I remember at one point in the ceremony I leaned over to "little" Brian and I said to him, "Be sure to look at the faces of these soldiers Brian, and the next time you are listening to CNN and hear about the war in Iraq, remember exactly who they are speaking of." The whole day was very moving and emotionally exhausting.

On Saturday morning, after helping John pack his two duffle bags with everything we could possibly send to give him a comfortable new beginning, we said goodbye again. He shipped out to Arizona where he is stationed now. He will spend the next twenty-some weeks there in advanced training. After this he will head to Ft Benning, GA for jump school--yes I said jump school--he kind of snuck that in when he thought we weren't listening--but remember my moving train analogy...I jumped onto that train too. I told him to take advantage of every bit of training he could get to prepare him for any situation. Although he could hardly believe his ears, he was relieved to have our support.

After our goodbyes, we set out for our long drive home to Minnesota. We passed the time reminicsing about the old days, talking about all of the new changes and of course, speculating on what will transpire over the next few years. None of us has those answers and now more than ever I believe that we all have a plan for our lives that has been in place long before we were glimmers in our parents' eyes. We all have a purpose and a path to walk. I have made a conscious decsion not spend my days worrying and distracting John from what he has set out to do, so I ask that each of you do the same. Instead, pray for his safety and his happiness. Keep him connected with letters or phone calls. If he ever has a moment in his life where he has to make a split second decsion that could save his life, I want his mind to be clear--I want him to be able to focus his thoughts clearly, to carry out his mission and to come home safely.  Because of this, I will suppport every endeavor fully.

John- if you get a chance to read this, I hope you know how proud were are of you and of all that you have accomplished. We are so eager to share this new adventure with you. Remember the importance of your family. Don't ever sell yourself short and always be true to yourself. This is your life--live it for yourself.  Stay focussed and keep your eye on your goals and always remember what Day says--"Do the right thing"---always. Love you John!

Love,
Mom